| Author | Post |
|---|
micheal
Member
| Joined: | Fri Jan 11th, 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 8 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |  |
|
Posted: Fri Jan 11th, 2008 07:49 pm |
|
I don't understand why parents have to come to games loud and rude. Yelling at the coaches for no reason at all. I mean what is the deal. You are their to support your child I get that but it gets to the point where it goes over board. I don't liek the fact that they want to come and control the game or get mad when their child is taken out the game. There needs to be parenting rules for the parents.
|
Jeannette98
Member
|
Posted: Wed Jan 16th, 2008 02:26 am |
|
Sideline Behavior
- Children want cheerleaders to applaud their success, not adults yelling instructions. Think of the soccer field as a playground and not as a sports venue.
- What’s appropriate at a sport stadium with adult athletes is NOT appropriate for young children at play.
- Focus on the process of playing and not the outcome.
- Unlike the adult games, kids playing soccer do not see the other team as the enemy. The other team is full of their friends – friends from their school, their place of worship, their neighborhood. They
are likely to be playing together in your backyard or in your den after the game.
- Cheer ANY and ALL success on the field. It DOES NOT matter what player OR team. They are all kids and they want you there to see them play.
“A good way to determine whether the sideline comments are helpful and supportive is to ask the children what they prefer to hear on the sideline, if anything.”
Developing Decision Makers
Don’t keep score, the kids don’t regard it as that important.
Don’t care who wins or loses, they are having fun and that is the objective NOT winning or losing.
|
soccertr
Administrator
| Joined: | Tue Oct 2nd, 2007 |
| Location: | Georgia USA |
| Posts: | 121 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: |   |
|
Posted: Mon Jan 21st, 2008 02:39 pm |
|
It is easily dealt with if you can get your league to use the new "happy soccer" booklet.
You can find it here...
http://www.blasttheball.com/happy_soccer_book.html
You are free to email this to all the coaches and administrators as well.
|
SoccerDad
Member
|
Posted: Sun Feb 3rd, 2008 01:48 am |
|
| Greetings - Very important topic. I find it seems to be an issue of ignorance, quite frankly. Most people simply behave the way they were taught to behave - in other words, they, as adults, are only repeating what they saw adults doing when they themselves were kids. So, yelling at the kids from the sidelines seems a perfectly natural thing to do. I do find, however, that in rec soccer, speaking to the parents about this and the importance of ONLY offering positive and encouraging comments does seem to help tone down the behavior a bit. Where I am really challenged with this is in competitive soccer - the parents seem to think that winning IS what it's all about (because this is a competitive club, afterall, right?) and therefore they seem to also think that shouting from the sidelines at the kids and referee is appropriate. How do you handle this?? Thanks!
|
Jeannette98
Member
|
Posted: Sun Feb 3rd, 2008 02:13 am |
|
| It is harder to convince competitive club parents to tone down their behavior because it is more about winning but maybe it would help if you told them that their behavior is distracting their child from concentrating on the game. When they yell out to their child- naturally the child can hear the parents voice and will focus on what they are yelling instead of the action that is happening in front of them. This happens because previously in their lives - if their parents yell at them - it's usually a bad thing, so the child assoicates their parents words as something negative that they are doing. By the time they comprehend what the parent is telling them - the actions on the field have changed and they have been pulled mentally away from their focus on the game. Yelling at the Referee can also have a negative effect on the game because Referee's are not super human individuals who can simply turn off their hearing or filter out all the negative comments coming at them. They may miss a call in favor of one team or another simply by being distracted. Hope this helps you and your screaming parents.
|
The_Goalkeeper
Member
| Joined: | Sat Oct 25th, 2008 |
| Location: | United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 5 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Sat Oct 25th, 2008 11:09 pm |
|
Excellent posts regarding a wide reaching issue in sports -
MINI GUIDE TO THE WORLD OF RUDE PARENTS -
THE RUDE PARENTS INTENTIONS ARE GOOD
Think about it, are parents shouting from the sidelines to achieve a negative or positive result?
Positive. They BELIEVE they are helping in any given situation by shouting and getting angry about certain things.
STEP 1 - Recognise their intentions!
The next time you encount a vocal parent...stop...and think,
"What is this parent wanting to achieve?"
In most cases it is to improve their son/daughter's ability and success on the field. You wouldn't expect it to be otherwise. Respect that.
STEP 2 - Offer to show them how it is negativly impacting the team/player
Offering solutions is more thought provoking than forcing solutions. Let me give you an example
FORCING A SOLUTION
"John, your behavour on the side of the pitch is causing problems. Stop now please. Here is a guide to what 'GOOD PARENTING' in soccer involves"
OFFERING A SOLUTION
"John, I wanted to run something past you. During the games it great that we have such fantastic parents offering support to the kids during the game. As the coach, I want the best for each and every player in my team.
I wanted to ask you if you had thought about the shouts that you make at the sidelines? And if it is constructive to kids on the field? We all get excited no doubt, and I think you'll agree we want the best out of these youngsters. I believe a more positive approach, with less focus on the negatives is crucial. What do you think?"
Which seems more resonable and more agreeable?
The crucial part of OFFERING A SOLUTION is asking "What do you think?" GETTING FEEDBACK IS FANTASTIC! It gives you a deeper understanding of what the parent is thinking. By asking this, he/she may possibly turn round and say -
"I just want to show my son/daughter that I support him/her"
From then, you offer another solution.
"Do you think by focusing less on shouting commands and more on positive influence and praise could lead to an even more supportive game?"
That is a lot of fun thinking! If you grasped even a little of the above, you can be sure you may start to think of better ways to deal with 'rude parents'.
It all starts with looking at their INTENTION.
|
Jeannette98
Member
|
Posted: Sun Oct 26th, 2008 01:30 am |
|
To help combat disruptive parents, some youth soccer organizations, including the Washington Area Girls Soccer League and the National Capital Soccer League, are using team sideline liaisons to police and, if necessary, discourage parents' verbal aggression. Those monitors are often armed--with lollipops.. They are the so-called Dum Dum Brigade.
If a parent is sucking on candy, he or she is less able to yell, and the sweet serves as a reminder that the game is about the kids playing it, not the adults watching it. It has the same physiological effect as deep breathing.
To read more of this interesting article go to: http://karldewazien.com/CoachingArticles/KoachKarl/tabid/362/EntryID/352/language/en-US/Default.aspx
|
DRyan
Member
| Joined: | Mon Jun 8th, 2009 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 3 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
| Mana: | |
|
Posted: Mon Jun 8th, 2009 06:00 pm |
|
micheal wrote:
I don't understand why parents have to come to games loud and rude. Yelling at the coaches for no reason at all. I mean what is the deal. You are their to support your child I get that but it gets to the point where it goes over board. I don't liek the fact that they want to come and control the game or get mad when their child is taken out the game. There needs to be parenting rules for the parents.
I have witnessed parents going at it because the other ones son had made a bad pass. Ridiculous conduct and the parents should be proud of the great example they are showing for conduct on the field of play.
D.
|
Jeannette98
Member
|
Posted: Mon Jun 8th, 2009 06:54 pm |
|
I just read this article about this topic and here is the best summary for you from that article by Liz Pope:
"Here's the thing about Life, it keeps coming at you with the same things. Every soccer game I go to, it’s the same old thing. For a long time I wondered how much of my life was going to be wasted sitting in bleachers chasing my kids around, hollering at refs, and getting so worked up I could hardly sleep. But then one day it dawned on me. It’s just like anything else we spend our time doing: it’s a part of this great big test we’re all taking. Someone up there loves us enough to give us innumerable chances to figure things out and finally find the right answers. He wants us to pass, and so he gives us a world full of wonderful metaphors. He gives us mountains to teach us strength, oceans to teach us love, dogs to teach us loyalty and children to teach us humility. He gives us jobs to teach us responsibility, flowers to teach us that He wants us to smile, and teenagers to teach us not to take ourselves so seriously. He gives us money and hair to teach us that some things are both good and bad, rain to teach us that some things we don’t like are good for us, and for those of us who are really thick-headed, he gives us soccer to teach us about ourselves. The trick is to stop worrying who wins, and start watching the game."
Wouldn't it be great if everyone finally learned this truth. ! to read the whole article go to [url=http://http://http://www.karldewazien.com/CoachingArticles/KoachKarl/tabid/362/EntryId/400/10-life-lessons-learned-from-the-sidelines-by-Liz-Pope.aspx]http://www.karldewazien.com/CoachingArticles/KoachKarl/tabid/362/EntryId/400/10-life-lessons-learned-from-the-sidelines-by-Liz-Pope.aspx]http://http://www.karldewazien.com/CoachingArticles/KoachKarl/tabid/362/EntryId/400/10-life-lessons-learned-from-the-sidelines-by-Liz-Pope.aspx[/url]Last edited on Mon Jun 8th, 2009 06:58 pm by Jeannette98
|
Current time is 01:27 am | |
|
