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Trouble on the team
 Moderated by: soccertr  

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willyable
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 Posted: Wed Jan 9th, 2008 02:45 am

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Ok so here is the deal I'm having some trouble with a couple of of my kids on the team. I had noticed that they weren't too into eachother from day one. But the thing is one of them is actually picking on the other. Which I find that a problem. I tried talking to his father about his behavior but it just doesn't seem to work for some reason. What should  I do? Should I just go ahead and kick him off the team?

soccertr
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 Posted: Wed Jan 9th, 2008 08:42 pm

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willyable wrote: Ok so here is the deal I'm having some trouble with a couple of of my kids on the team. I had noticed that they weren't too into eachother from day one. But the thing is one of them is actually picking on the other. Which I find that a problem. I tried talking to his father about his behavior but it just doesn't seem to work for some reason. What should  I do? Should I just go ahead and kick him off the team?
I would let the parent know that you are going to talk to the child in private about the issue. Then before a practice or after a practice I would pull the child aside by himself and discuss the issue. (If they are old enough.)
Let them know that the issue exists and it needs to dealt with.
1) The behavior needs to stop or 2) He needs to leave the team.
Let him chose his path.

N.Doe
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 Posted: Fri Jan 11th, 2008 11:29 am

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This is a common thing happening at the start of a new team.Talking to his parents is a good thing,but also try different aproaches.Try giving him extra laps around the field,or something else,to make him understand that it isn't good what he is doing.In my experience they ussualy crack up after a few days of payed deeds,and start to fit in.You really should try different aproaches before giving him an ultimatum.Good luck with him.

Lisa2go
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 Posted: Fri Jan 11th, 2008 04:58 pm

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willyable wrote: Ok so here is the deal I'm having some trouble with a couple of of my kids on the team. I had noticed that they weren't too into eachother from day one. But the thing is one of them is actually picking on the other. Which I find that a problem. I tried talking to his father about his behavior but it just doesn't seem to work for some reason. What should  I do? Should I just go ahead and kick him off the team?

No, I wouldn't kick the child off the team.  I would show some authority to that child though.  Nevermind the Father for now...

If it were a team I was coaching, I would set the child aside and have a firm talk with him/her.  Find out what the issue is by doing some good listening and asking some open ended questions.

From there I would apply some basic rules for the entire team about team playing.  Make it clear where you stand and how the game will be played.

If all else fails, talk to the Father and warn him that if his child cannot play fair that you will have to consider kicking him off the team for the sake of a healthy game.

youthcoachireland
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 Posted: Mon Jan 14th, 2008 10:31 pm

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N.Doe wrote: This is a common thing happening at the start of a new team.Talking to his parents is a good thing,but also try different aproaches.Try giving him extra laps around the field,or something else,to make him understand that it isn't good what he is doing.In my experience they ussualy crack up after a few days of payed deeds,and start to fit in.You really should try different aproaches before giving him an ultimatum.Good luck with him.


Personally I wouldnt talk to the child in private with or without the parents permission as you are leaving yourself open as a child protection issue.  Certainly talk to him / her away from the rest of the team but always have another adult present as the chances are that the kid will feel annoyed that he is being singled out (rightly or wrongly) but he may carry back a different version of the conersation you have had!

I am actually having the same trouble with my youth team, two boys in particular are a problem.  We have a child protection officer at all our training sessions, I always discuss any issues like this with her.  The best thing to do is speak with the parents, but if the problem continues then I would seriously consider asking him / her to leave the team as that one player will disrupt the harmony and team spirit of the rest of your squad. 

coachv
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 Posted: Mon Jan 14th, 2008 11:19 pm

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Good clarification YC Ireland...
"In Private" should never be alone.
It should always be away from others but still in plain view of parents or other coaches.  This really is the last resort.  I will often do this "private meeting" for positive discussions with players that lack confidence. It works well.

This private "pep talk" letting them know you're proud of them is an amazing tool.


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